A new running partner!

What happens when your running friends no longer run? If you happen to me ( which I am...lol ) You start slacking. You go on shorter runs, you take more walk breaks and you totally regress as a runner. Well friends, that is exactly what has happened to me. I am not as fast, nor can I run as long as I used to be able to. I have found that I am constantly waiting on other people for my runs. That, clearly, is one of my main mistakes! I decided to take a different approach to this dilema that I have found myself in. I found a new training partner. YAY.
I decided that just because I have been running with friends, does not mean that I need to keep that up. It is my training and my goals that I am looking out for. If my friends don't have it in them, I cannot force 'it' out. I decided to put an ad up on craigslist for a training partner. I had exactly one response. Dhillon responded and is now my new training partner. I will help him lose weight and he will help me do the same. I want to PR and he will help me get there.
Today was my first run with Dhillon and I am very happy about it. Despite the fact that we have a huge age gap ( he is double my age) I found that conversation was flowing very well. I canot wait to see what we can accomplish together.

Here is to achieving your goals!

CANDY+ emotional eating

Wow. I have consumed roughly two days worth of calories this evening alone. Today, I am not a runner. Today I am an overly emotional female who needs some food therapy. Not joking. For dinner I had a bowl of pop corn, the better part of a package of twizzlers and am currently working on some chocolates.
I can be a loser and blame it on emotions or I can recognize that it is self sabotage. Yes, today I did wake up from a bad dream and felt bad about the way my last ' relationship' went down. Yes, I do have crazy hormones right now... and YES, deep down the reason that I am doing this is to guard myself against actually achieving my PR. If I eat right, sleep enough and train my butt off and don't PR I will feel like I failed. If I sabotage myself and say things like " It was a bad time for me emotionally" or " I just totally let my diet go and that killed my running" I am giving myself a cop out. I guess I need to stop being a loser and just RUN.

Ok so that is my rant about my day and the way that I am feeling. Best to just put that beind myself and just move on. Let me discuss the awesomeness that was yesterdays run!
The other day I decided that I would head out on a run before I went to work. I slept in ( which turned out to be great!) I work the graveyard shift and sometimes sleeping during the day is not something that comes very easily to me. I decided that I would actually take a break during my shift and head out on a run. I set my timer for 40 minutes and decided to just run circles around the block. My music was soothing and the run made me feel totally at ease with my day. It was the perfect addition to my long shift. I drank less coffee and was relaxed for the rest of the day. SOOO basically what I am saying is that instead of popcorn and twizzlers I should have just put on my runners. That, my friends, would have been the better life choice. We live and we learn.

My new relationship. . .

Wow, I have really lost myself as a runner. I have not blogged in an exceptionally long time...EEP. Well let me start by saying that Paris was amazing! I had a great time and worked my little butt off. My finishing time was not even close to what I wanted, but it was what I earned. I honestly wouldn't have changed a thing about my Paris experience. I am proud of myself and my accomplishment :)
Ah Paris... 42.2kms worth of love... and apparently something to hide behind for months! Here is the truth: I got lazy after Paris. Not just " Oh I only want to run 20kms this week" but " Oh... I don't actually remember the last time I ran!" to " That cheese and wine last night was amazing!" I am sure that you get the awful picture that I am painting. Soon I began to realize that the ten extra pounds that I noticed on my hips were not going away. They were hanging out because I was doing NOTHING to get rid of them.. As in zero. I regressed more than a year in my fitness goals and activity level. I am ashamed to say that I started back on the road to being a fat chick. I stopped caring.
The thing about running a marathon is that it gives you an 'out'. You can say things like " I am a long distance runner!" and " I ran a marathon in PARIS" That is great, but if you sit on the couch and you start getting fat, you are no better than the fat guy who says that he was the star of the football team. . . 10 years ago.
The only reason that I came to this stark revelation is of course an emotional breakdown ( blame a boy) . So now I am doing the only thing I know how to do. I am taking my emotions to the pavement and working on a new PR. I signed up for the next race possible and set a healthy PR.
My official goal: To run the Good Life Half Marathon in 2hrs or less!

Wish me good luck :)

finding the flow

At the best of times running can be beautiful. I dare not say what running can be at the worst of times... I have found that the hardest thing about any run is making it out of the front door. I often beat up on myself for a ' bad' run, for not finding my natural running rhythm, or for just being slow... How silly can I be? What it comes down to is that I was the one that had the balls to leave the house. On a cold a cold winter morning, or night for that matter, I drag myself out of the house. There are a million other things that I could be doing, but I make the choice.
Tonight on my run I did not have the stress release that I was looking for. This release was the only thing that I was looking for. I am restless. I am tired. I am angry. I wanted to release all of those feelings tonight. None of that happened. I know that it is because I need to understand why I have these feelings before pounding them out on the pavement. I guess at times we need to work out the problem before we can truly dismiss it. At times I am lucky enough to fix my problems during my run. This, of course is not a luxury on every run. I guess deep down I know exactly why I have these feelings.. I am just not strong enough to confront them.

12kkm in the pouring rain :(

Oh my gosh a lot has happened since I last wrote! I had to take two weeks off of running due to surgery, among other things... I got a new job that I will be starting in the New Year. I have no idea if this will benefit my running, or if it will kill me..EEP!
The short version of the story is that a lot has been happening in my life. From injury, to illness, to a new job...The list just seems to be getting longer. I suppose that is what happens at this time of year.
Today was a 12km run with our GTS. It was horrible... HORRIBLE. Megan was having problems with her knees. At km 9 she literally buckled over in pain and started crying. I felt so horrible for her, as I know just how rough knee injuries can be. Needless to say we walked back to our starting point.. 3kms in the pouring rain. I don't think I have ever been colder. Having to walk in the cold after a run is quite possibly the worst thing ever. As bad as it was for me to be walking it was probably much worse for Megan. I really hope that her knee starts feeling better!

First TNT run.

We had our first Team in Training group run today. I felt like death! I still have this horrible cold, but didn't want to miss out on our first run. I had a great deal of lung butter, and felt like my feet weighed 100 pounds each. I guess all runs cannot be magical...and there are no doubts that this run was in NO way magical.

This friday will be my first fundraiser.. I am actually really nervous for it. I am concerned that nobody will come, that it will not be profitable and that I will look like a loser. Ok, so I understand that I am being a bit melodramatic about this whole situation. I have no idea why I get so worried when I plan events, but I do. When I was growing up I would always make my mom wait outside of wherever she dropped me off. Even if I was going to my best friends house, I would ask her to wait, just in the even that she was bailing on our plans. This , of course never happened. I am sure that the fundraiser will go very well, I am sure that I have nothing to worry about..... but.....

Fundraising update:

As of right now I am sitting at $20.00. One of my mothers friends gave me a $20.00 and wrote a message on it. It was the perfect first donation. I will update my blog with what we make at the pub night fundraiser.. Ultimate goal of 7500.00.

I finished my first half marathon!

I did it! I actually finished my first half marathon. Megan, Aaron and myself all did it together.. A total of 21km. We finished in two hours and sixteen minutes. I was really proud of that time. The next race we will do will probably be Paris..

Cheers to that :)